Have you ever feeling so guilty?

Now, i’m feeling like i’m being crazy, feeling so guilty when i’m done with the fault things. If i’ve made the fault things, i knew it was totally the mistake that i’ve been done.

All i want is go out from the situation that i won’t.

Yesterday, i just created an article told about “being sensitive person” or you can called, “Hyper Sensitive Person”, and today was the summit of that feelings, those all my faults i’ve done, 1st i don’t know if there was a transferred money came from my senior started with the tease we’ve talked almost one month ago, but i just knew it yesterday, i was feeling guilty coz i just installed the apps yesterday, and i just knew it. And today, i scrolled down the old message, there was a message came from my senior too, i was forgetting to answer the text, and she texted me yesterday and was being upset. I’m feeling so sad, even i don’t want to activated my phone.

All the situation started when i was entered and got my 1st college with the situation i never ever seen before. You all know being an engineering student you must through ‘the regeneration’ with the label of “mentally strong”, i even don’t know until this day, 35% only the positive impact that i’ve got from that regeneration. The old days, i’ve ever asked my senior, why we have through the sh*t things during my own time college, and the answer said, yes, “You’ll be mentally strong, stronger after graduating from the college, and you can propagate the relation to your career path later.”. It was not make sense i thought. After a long day, i felt like i’m not being a stronger person as seniors told me yesterday, i felt like i’m being a girl who don’t want deciding anything faster, i always feel like i’m being afraid of, afraid if i told ‘A’, others would strike me coz i’ve been choosen the wrong option. (coz i’ve been feeling the situation is, my friends had cornered me when i got the fault things, whereas they could speak it well to me, told me how can i through the good ways to get the right option.)

All i want just graduate from the college, knowing more outside, knowing more people who trust me well, who pulled me up when i’m down, who push me forward to make me a better person as i know the old me. I just want graduate from the situation i don’t want. Yet, while i was through all the situation is, i just knew the things which makes me feel like ‘i’m okay with all matters’, writing is one of good options that i found. And to all the readers who’ve been reading this article, i hope you know the way to make you feel like you are rising up from the bad situation, just you, being who you are, and prove it to the world you are okay being who you are. :)